she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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