Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
