i don't like sucking hair
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
