that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
