I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
