I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
