if i died would you start the facebook group?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
