She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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