i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
