my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
