Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
