Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
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