Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
