You're so nebulous sometimes
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
