How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
