I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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