hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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