Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
