I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
COCAINE IS GR8
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
