FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
