i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
