i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
