What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
