Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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