She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
