I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
