They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
