Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
