i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
