Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
