I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
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