what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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