my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
