She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
