sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
