that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
