This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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