is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
