Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
