We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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