k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
