I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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