the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
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