Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
