I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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