All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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