why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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