Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You need a sexual gate keeper
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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