The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
