I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
