It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
