He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
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